Golden Bachelor's Ellen Goltzer Shares Whether She Has Regrets

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As for what was going through the Pickleball captain's mind when his name wasn't called? As she put it, "I felt like, 'This didn't just end. This didn't just happen.' Terrible disappointment, sad. I wanted to keep going and see where it went. I didn't feel like I had enough time. I did have a lot of time—a lot of girls did not—but I just wanted it to keep going to see where it would go. And I was upset."

Reiterating that she was falling in love, Ellen said she had "deep feelings" for Gerry and she felt that leaving the show was "devastating."

But one thing is for sure: Ellen's best friend Roberta Zaktzerwho died in September from cancer, would have been very proud of her for being open to another shot at love.

"I think that's one of the reasons why she sort of made me go or encouraged me to go," Ellen recalled. "She knows my personality better than anybody. And I think she knew that it was something I needed. Something that I was overlooking. I think she would be so super proud of me that I let loose and really showed people who I was and my feelings inside, because sometimes I don't do that."

She added, "I think she was cheering big time."

For a complete look at all the women who are watching for Gerry's love on The Golden Bachelorkeep reading.

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